Losing Voice
by Hgirl
Summary: Claire & Charlie. Love blossoms on the Island. WIP
1. Chapter 1

Title: Losing Voice (1 of ?)

Pairing: Claire/Charlie

Spoilers: Up until "Homecoming"

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters.

A/N: I've been trying to ignore this ship for weeks now… I ran, but my muse was faster, caught up with me and tripped me. Here's what I got: 874 words. Journal entries are in Italics.

_000_

Claire sat back against a tree, trying to find a comfortable position. She opened her journal and went back a few pages, going over her mindless scribbling. She longed to have a nice warm shower, to shave her legs, to have a proper place to pee, a comfortable bed and, above all, a safe place to give birth to her baby. The mention of peanut butter came up as well…

Skimming over her writing, she stopped at parts that were much more profound and meaningful.

Charlie just wants to be a friend, to be a confident. I know he probably thinks he'd be of more help than you are – you're just a book - but I know deep down I want it to be something more and I'm scared. He said he liked me, but Thomas did too. He said he'd be there for me, that he wouldn't leave me…

_I guess I'm still stuck on the pain Thomas caused me. _

Biting her lip, she revisited the moment…

FLASHBACK

"No, it's not over! Thomas!" she yelled, tears welling up in her pure blue eyes. He was gone. She wanted nothing more than fall to the floor, but she already felt like she was crashing to the floor, her heart shattering to pieces. She was alone, once again. All the men in her life ended up leaving her.

END OF FLASHBACK

Claire blinked back tears and continued to go further back in her journal…

_I loved Thomas and he left me. I have to be strong for the baby because I promised that I wouldn't let myself go weak, that I wouldn't give up for the sake of the life growing in me -That's why I decided to keep him. I'll raise my child and make sure he never ends up alone. _

Claire turned back to where her page holder was, went back a few pages and read on…  
_I'm so sick of everyone telling me what to do. I don't need to be rescued! I believed Charlie when he said nothing was going on, but he lied to me. Are they all liars? _

Claire turned the page and picked up her pen. Grasping it, she rolled it around between her fingers unsure what to write. Finally, after a moment, she leaned over the blank page and it was as if her pen moved on its own…

_Dear Diary,_

_I'm slowly starting to remember bits and pieces of the past few weeks that we've been stuck here on this island…_

_I remember Charlie's shocked expression when I first felt my contractions starting. He told me he'd take care of me and, truly, he did. I'm glad he was there._

_He told me we were friends, but from what I wrote you about him, I think that I may actually be in love with him. I know; it's ridiculous! I barely know him! Especially since I can't remember much; not even the crash. I'd be lying if I were to say that I didn't appreciate him wanting to protect me. When I decided to help the others get Ethan by posing as bait, through the rain, I could have sworn Charlie had possessive eyes zeroing down on me – like I was his to take care of. Still, I belong to no one. In spite of that, he killed him - Killed whoever Ethan was and, frankly, it made me much less anxious about being here, very pregnant, in this strange place surrounded by unfamiliar faces. _

_I want to trust him because, from everything I know, he's a good person and - _

"Hey," a voice made Claire look up.

"Oh, um, hi," she quickly closed her diary. Speak of the devil… it was Charlie.

"You feeling alright?" Charlie asked, eyes fixed on her.

"Yeah, fine." Her lilting Australian accent came out clearly. "How are you?"

Charlie smiled, "I'm not the one who's pregnant."

"No," she held back a laugh, "I know that…"

"Then, why do you ask?" He thought that maybe she was remembering things… perhaps about them. "Are memories coming back to you?"

"Sort of, yeah. Like I know you told me you were a drug addict."

'She really remembered the good about me', he thought.

"Only because I had no reason to stay clean." You could be my reason, he added silently in his head.

"Well," she smiled, "now you have no choice, seeing as there aren't any toxic chemicals lying around here."

"Things would have turned out differently if we all had made it to Los Angeles," Charlie said almost wistfully.

"I know. I probably shouldn't say this, but I'm glad we met. I mean, we probably wouldn't have gotten to know one another like this if…"

If the plane hadn't crashed…

Charlie nodded.

His eyes focused on her, he tentatively started, "Claire, there's something I need to tell

you -"

"Okay…" She looked at him weirdly.

"I, ah, I…"

"You what?" she was interested now, smiling at his uneasiness.

The words wouldn't come.

"I can't say it," he shook his head.

"Sure you can," she touched his arm.

His gaze fell to her small delicate ringed fingers lying on his rough-looking dirty hand. Now, he had lost his voice.

TBC…


	2. Chapter 2

Title: Losing Voice (2 of ?)

Pairing: Claire/Charlie

Spoilers: Up until "Numbers".

Summary: A parallel to the episode "Numbers"

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters.

A/N: Sorry this took quite a while. Life has been hectic. Plus, I deleted my last version and made this new one. Oh, and, I'm still waiting (like most of you, I assume) for Claire to have her baby.

_000_

"Spill it, Charlie." Claire watched him with playful eyes.

"Okay," he covered the hand she had placed on his right with his left hand, "when you were missing, I, well, I…"

"Yeah?" she arched an eyebrow, leaning in.

"I sorta read your diary…" He tried to redeem himself by clarifying, "just a tiny bit."

Sliding over his forearm, Claire retrieved her hand from his grasp, "You what?"

She felt betrayed, Charlie knew. He saw the look in her eye.

"I'm so sorry, Claire. Really, I am. Curiosity got the best of me. If I could go back, I wouldn't do it again."

"What did you read?" She looked at him through her muddled golden strands of hair.

Charlie could feel his heart pounding in his chest. He stared at her blankly. What was he supposed to say?

"I love you, Claire."

Charlie tightly pressed his lips together. 'What the hell was that?' he thought. 'What's wrong with me? … I must be mad to have blurted that.'

Claire's mouth fell partly open as her heart and her brain processed his words. He'd chosen to reveal himself more than she had because he knew very well, after having read that she thought she was in love with him, that his feelings were stronger.

Charlie's eyes shined with emotion, but he didn't wait too long before saying he was sorry, standing up and turning around to leave. He was hurting. Hurting more for Claire than he was for having killed someone – even somebody as bad as Ethan. Sayid had told him not to act as if he were alone, but he felt as though he was. Painfully alone, now more than ever.

Claire wanted to stop him, to tell him to wait, but couldn't bring herself to articulate the words. What would she tell him then? That he had no reason to be sorry? Was she ready to say I love you back?  
She had been dreaming of him and, funnily enough, he had apologized instead of asking the obvious: what about? Again, the question came haunting back: how much of her diary had he read?

_000_

Claire sat on the beach, watching the surf reel in and retreat. She leaned over her journal and started writing…

_Dear Diary, _

_Today is my birthday. I'm not sure how important it is that I mention it since I am still on this island.  
As much as we fought, I do miss my mum. If it wasn't for her I wouldn't be here so I guess that why I'm thinking of her now. I also wish I had my friends to party with.  
Jack examined me today since the baby may arrive at any given moment. I'm anxious and scared at the same time; I want it to be over and done with, yet not here, not this place… Jack asked me how Charlie was doing since I seem to know him best and I didn't know what to tell him. Later, I saw Charlie leave with Sayid and Jack to find Hurley. If it wasn't for how our last conversation ended, he wouldn't have left me like that to worry about what might happen to him in the jungle… _

_000_

It was nightfall when Claire slowly walked back to the caves, cradle under her arm. On an isolated island or not, she had been given a lovely present to commemorate her birthday. God, when she thought about it, she wished she wouldn't still be here for her next one.

She got to the place where she habitually slept and found Charlie sitting by the fire, picking at it with a stick.

She gently put the cradle down by her makeshift bed as Charlie tipped his head to the side and took a quick glance back without her noticing to confirm that it was her presence he felt.

She straightened – which took some time now because of her cumbersome belly and rubbed her tummy lovingly, even though she still wasn't too thrilled about being pregnant at this stage.

Looking at Charlie while his back was still turned, she pushed herself forward and came to sit by him.

"Hi," she smiled sheepishly, nervously tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Hey," he said almost flatly, trying hard to cover up his sorrow.

After a moment of silence, she eased into one of their typical conversations, "Where'd you go today?"

"To find Hurley and get a battery." He wouldn't tell her about his near death experience at the bridge.

"I was worried, you know." His mouth fell open – maybe he had read parts of her diary, but she really could read thoughts…

She waited for his reaction and got one almost immediately.

"You were?" Mouth agape, he locked eyes with her.

"'Course I was." She nudged him sideways with her shoulder. "You're my best friend here, aren't you?"

"Best friend…" he repeated, inaudibly. "Right. Yes," he replied carefully and Claire noticed his disappointment.

"Charlie… I like you."

He shook his head, looking away, "You don't have to say anything."

"No, really… I do. I have feelings for you… I'm just, um, scared – that's all."

He suddenly turned his gaze back on her, "You do trust me, though, right? As a friend…"

Claire nodded, trying to quell his worries, "I want for it to be more, more meaningful, but you need to give me some time."

Charlie smiled. "You can have all the time in the world," he said, looking around. Days were slow here anyways.

"Thank you. For understanding and… for everything." Loving me, protecting me …

"C'mere," he uncrossed his legs and scooted closer to her.

"What what are you doing?"

He started kneading her shoulders.

"Giving you a back rub," he said matter-of-factly. "It is your birthday, isn't it?"

"How did you – oh, right." She remembered the information she had written on the first few pages of her diary.

"Happy birthday, Claire." He massaged her back muscles. "I wasn't sure what to get you considering…"

She shook her full head of hair. "Let's put it behind us," she breathed enjoying the massage.

"Whatever you say, birthday girl," Charlie replied with a chuckle.

She laughed and brought her arm up, placing a hand behind his neck and turning towards him.

"You know what I'd like to do?" Her voice was deepening from the relaxation Charlie's touch provided her with.

"What?"

Charlie's surprised augmented exponentially when she leaned in more closely and whispered something in his ear.

A smile formed on his lips. "Right now?"

"Sure. Why not?" she giggled, "now, help me up, will you."

TBC…


	3. Chapter 3

Title: Losing Voice (3 of ?)

Pairing: Claire/Charlie

Spoilers: All eps are fair game, but no precise spoilers… I don't think.

Summary: Claire has something in mind.

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters.

A/N: Thanks for the reviews, guys!

_000_

Chapter 3

_000_

Claire reached into her things by her bed for a small object and took Charlie's hand, leading him away from the caves. The light from various lit fires seeped through the trees and they could find their way through the night without too much trouble.

"You're odd, Claire."

She laughed, shrugging, and glanced back at him, "This isn't a special occasion? 'Cause that's what I kept it for…"

"I suppose it is," he nodded, smiling.

They reached the lagoon and Claire reached into her pants' pocket for a small recipient about the size of a pill bottle. She looked the container she held in her hand while Charlie, preoccupied with other things, looked down at his clothes.

"How are we… What should I…?" He questioned, stuttering slightly.

Claire's head snapped up at his way of behaving, "I don't mind…" She pulled on the hem of her shirt that covered her protruding belly. "Do you?"

"No," she shook his head, acting as if it wasn't a big deal and that he hadn't thought of anything else. "My clothes need a wash anyway."

Claire slipped out of her shoes and entered the water. Charlie looked around, hesitating for a moment, before doing the same and following after her.

Surrounded by dark looking, but relatively warm water, Claire felt her stomach tighten as her imagination ran wild. It was almost as if she was scaring herself because of the obscurity of the surroundings. She only felt safe when Charlie was close.

The sand under her feet was light and soft as she moved further away from the bank until she could barely set foot at the bottom without going under. She let herself go under with a splash and came up a second later. Her clothes and hair soaked, rivulets of water tickled and streamed down her skin. She looked at Charlie who dove forward and couldn't help the giggle escaping her lips, knowing that he was swimming towards her. She squealed when he caught her foot, protesting, and urged him to come up.

Charlie broke the water's surface, taking a breath and smiled mischievously. "Couldn't resist."

He moved his dripping hair out of his eyes, and ducked a bit, kissing the water's surface with his chin. "What now?"

"I think we should go over there," she pointed and Charlie nodded, holding back from shouting how happy he felt at that very moment. Swimming with Claire. Just the two of them alone together. He never thought he'd meet someone so utterly pure and nothing short of fun like Claire.

They swam to the other side of the lagoon where the waterfalls were and Claire brought her hand up from under the water, uncapping the small recipient.

"You first," Charlie muttered over the noise from the waterfall.

"It was my idea and I say you're first." She replied, headstrong.

Seeing the glint in her eye, Charlie couldn't dare squabble with her and acted accordingly.  
She tipped the minuscule container in her hand, keeping about half of the viscous opaque substance untouched and replaced the cap on it. "Here," she handed it to Charlie, "hold this for me, please."

Charlie lowered himself like before – a little more than before since it wasn't as deep there - his chin touched the water's surface and Claire rubbed her hands together, lathering the shampoo between her palms.  
A travel-size shampoo bottle… Who would have thought that she'd be that happy to have packed it? She was leaving for L.A. for a few weeks to have her baby there then leave, and had seriously thought of getting all new stuff when she'd arrive in the States, but changed her mind at the last minute, thinking just a small amount could be useful for the first couple of days.

The bubbly froth covering her hands emanated a scent that reminded her of home.  
She tiptoed in the sand as Charlie turned his back at her and she laced her fingers through his hair, working the shampoo in. He tried to hold back his body from shaking with the shockwaves her delicate fingers were causing him. Goosebumps formed on the skin of his neck while a shiver coursed up his spine and made him jolt.

"That feels nice." He managed not to sound too affected by the gentle caressing he was receiving, but he honestly thought he could have died of ecstasy at that very moment.

"I bet it does. You were in need of a good shampooing." Good-humoredly, she ruffled his hair.

"You're probably right," he said with embarrassment.

"I'm pulling your leg, Charlie."

"It's still true."

After a few minutes, she spoke again, "'kay, I think you're good to rinse."

Charlie straightened and turned, shaking his head, small bottle in hand.

"No?" She furrowed her brow.

He emptied the contents of the bottle in his hand and threw it as far as he could towards the water's edge. Slowly, careful not to put shampoo in her eyes, Charlie lathered the top of Claire's head.

She smiled, glancing up at him, watching him work on her thick tresses. "I'd say you have your work cut out for you."

"I don't mind."

She reached up and helped him, her hands casually brushing against his. He stepped forward and she playfully took her foamy right hand and rubbed it over his cheek and short beard.

Charlie licked his lips, a twinkle in his eye, but hindered back.

Simply taking her hand in his, he lead her to the waterfall and they both stood under to get rid of the shampoo.

They moved away from the waterfall and Claire spoke up, "That was great."

"Yeah, it was." Charlie grinned.

Claire dipped back, but struggled forward a second later. "Can't lay on my back with this baby, I'll drown!"

"I'll hold you." Charlie motioned her to come in the more shallow area and offered his support.

Claire dipped back again and was held by Charlie. She gazed up at the starry sky. "We never have time to appreciate our the beauty of life… It's breathtaking," she commented.

"It certainly is." Charlie stared down at Claire.

She quirked an eyebrow, "You're not even looking at the stars."

"Don't need to… I see their reflection in your eyes."

Rendered speechless, Claire blushed.

TBC…


	4. Chapter 4

Title: Losing Voice (4 of ?)

Pairing: Claire/Charlie

Spoilers: Up until "Born To Run"

Summary: Parallel to "Born To Run"

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters.

A/N: Journal entry in Italics.

_000_

Chapter 4

_000_

_I thought I was going to die… that's how much it hurt to bring my son into this world. It was worth it, though. I vaguely remember what was going on at the time. Kate was giving me advice… I think I eventually stopped holding my breath, but one thing's for sure, I know Charlie was with me, not very far. I thanked Kate, Charlie and Jin so many times for all their help. I don't think I could have done it alone. Jin simply took the baby's hand and smiled - saying so much without any words, Kate said she was just glad that everything went well (she's definitely proud to have delivered a baby). Charlie, well, Charlie's always been there for me and now he's here for both of us… the baby and I. _   
_One life ends and another begins, I guess. That's what I thought at Boone's funeral. I'm still not quite sure what happened, but, selfishly, right now, all I care about is my baby. _   
_Turnip head! I swear, Charlie has a way of getting under my skin. He's sorta been taking care of my baby like his own. Plus, he's been looking after me closely since the birth; making me rest. And, of all things, he discovered that listening to Sawyer speak soothes the baby, keeping him from crying._   
Shifting on the washed up log she was sitting on, Claire stopped writing in her journal and glanced over at her sleeping son. She should take the opportunity to rest while he's down, but she doesn't feel like she could sleep in the middle of the day and especially in this heat. It's hotter than usual today.   
"Hey Claire," Charlie walked up the beach towards her, guitar in hand.   
"Hi," she smiled, "what are you up to?"   
With an expelled breath, tired from his journey under the harsh sun, he sat beside her on the log. "I've been playing on the rocks over there. I suddenly feel like playing again."   
"That's great, Charlie."   
"Yeah." He nodded. "Wanna hear what I came up with?"   
"Sure."   
Charlie began playing a tune, then really started to get into it and moved his head from side to side. Rockstar all the way, Claire thought, smiling, watching him.   
Laughing in her hand at his expressions, Claire watched his hair being tossed around with his movements as he closed his eyes and felt the music. Strands kept falling on his forehead, in his eyes and she bit her lip, trying to fight the urge to make mention of his hair once again. 'Is this a fetish?', she wondered.   
Absorbed in his creative state, Charlie kept playing, feeling his way through the beat while his eyes remained closed and Claire took the opportunity to sneak off.   
When Charlie stopped playing and looked to Claire, wanting to ask what she thought, he realized she was gone.   
"Claire?" He looked around, placing his guitar down as he stood and walked over to peek in the cradle. The baby was still there; she probably hadn't gone far, he figured.   
His face illuminated when he saw her making her way back to him. "Claire! Where'd you go? Was my music that bad?"   
Claire laughed, "No, it was fantastic. I just left to get these." Slightly blushing, she pulled out a pair of scissors from behind her back.   
Charlie ran a hand through his hair. "Oh, what now?" he asked, humorously, "you're not seriously going to cut it, are you?"   
"Um," she was starting to be seriously red in the cheeks, "yeah."   
Charlie grinned at her ways, then shrugged and answered, "Fine. I don't mind."   
He picked up his guitar and sat on the log.   
While Charlie started playing again, Claire checked up on her son, making sure he wasn't too hot.   
"Claire?"   
"Yeah," she turned.   
"Can I borrow something to write on?"   
"Um, yeah." She reached into her bag and handed him a notepad and pencil.   
"Thanks, babe."   
Claire's heart leaped at the endearment. Cheeks flushed again because of her secret reaction to his words and she shyly tucked a strand behind her ear, hiding her face. While Charlie placed the notepad on his thigh and started writing, she silently sat astride the log and straightened a strand of his hair between her two fingers. Keeping it straight, she brought the scissors and gently started cutting his hair. Charlie closed his eyes and she noticed. She was touching his hair again, bringing back the tingly sensation up his back.   
When Claire was done with one side and then the other, she made Charlie sit astride in front of her to cut his bangs.   
"Look up", she ordered, lifting his chin. Charlie gazed at her for a moment before closing his eyes as locks of hair fell down his face. She gently removed a small clump of snipped hair off his cheek with two fingers, tickling him.   
Charlie was left to ponder about her touch, placing a hand over his cheek, as Claire went to fetch a small pocket size mirror.   
"What do you think?" she asked, holding up the mirror.   
Charlie moved the mirror in Claire's hand until he could see his sideburns, then his bangs.   
"Looks nice," he smiled. "You're a great hairdresser."   
"Tell me when I'm done," she stepped over the log, "I've still got your nape to fix."   
Charlie swung his leg over the side of the log, turning, so his back was to her. He sat up straight as Claire had requested, but quickly got bored of sitting still and picked up his guitar to play. Following the melody, he faintly bobbed his head.   
After a few minutes of it, Claire got frustrated. "Okay, can you stop moving or I'm gonna cut your ear off!"   
"Ah, this is good." He stopped playing to write on the notepad. "I'm writing again. Really feeling it as well." He wiped the sweat off his upper lip and asked, "So, what's the first thing you're gonna do when we get rescued?"   
"You know," she hesitated, watching Charlie play, "I don't really know."   
Charlie stopped playing. Pencil in his mouth, he offered, "You can hang out with me in L.A. You and turnip head." Taking the pencil out of his mouth, he added, "You know, until you figure things out."   
Claire nodded, leaning forward to say 'thanks'.   
"Smashing. Okay, check this out – this is track two - it's called…" Claire turned his head, "Sorry. It's called 'Monster eats the pilot.'"   
Claire smiled silently, shaking her head.   
TBC… 


End file.
